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Coaching Yourself Through Setbacks

When we fail to achieve our goals or do something wrong, we can learn how to coach ourselves to keep going. As I mentioned in my previous post, the learning process is a model for managing failure (or success). Part of that process is building confidence. Confidence is as much accepting what we can’t do as it is having faith in what we can do. Coaching is how we develop both parts.

A common setback is not being certain what to do in a situation. There is no way for us to know what to do in every situation we encounter when we encounter it. However, we should always feel confident that we can find an answer. The key is to accept the fact that we have to learn new things all the time and remember that we have overcome new situations many times. After that, it’s only a matter of seeking out a source of answers and finding a solution.

Another common setback is being overwhelmed by the task ahead, or sometimes a set of tasks. Sometimes, the lesson is to avoid overcommitting and doing too much at once. Sometimes, it is inherently too large a task to take on, and we need to ask for help or learn how to break down the task into smaller phases. The key is to accept our own limits and remember everyone has limits. Also, our ability to pace ourselves or work with a team only makes us stronger and more capable.

Another setback is when we make the wrong choice and managing our feelings of guilt or doubt. Sometimes we misjudge things and behave inappropriately or just incorrectly. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes. The only thing to do is to learn from them. If we lose people, because our choice is that offensive to them, then so be it. It is only when we learn how to accept failure in ourselves that we grow to become a more compassionate person when others make mistakes, and we have to live with them.

Learning how to coach ourselves and manage our own shortcomings is a big part of developing spiritually. It becomes one of the main tools we use to keep growing and maintaining a healthier relationship with life and every part of it. Our sense of serenity takes root with such an attitude. We become better at judging what to change and what to accept as it is.

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