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Balancing everything in a relationship

The signs of a healthy relationship may include good communication or regular contact, but I think the core of a healthy relationship comes from the four things I’ve talked about. Connection is the first and most obvious. Authenticity comes next, because without it, there can’t be an honest connection. After that, a sense of gratitude based on who each person really is turns connection into a lasting bond. And finally, flexibility is important in any relationship, since there are always differences, and because we are growing.

It can be hard to balance these, of course. When someone does something to upset you, do you speak up to be authentic or do you lean on flexibility and let it go? Do you work harder to maintain connection or do you just feel grateful you are together despite things getting busy? These all have to be handled as our lives go forward. We don’t really know ourselves or someone else until the right situations reveal our natures. However, if we keep these four things in mind, we may find some peace amidst the chaos our lives can bring.

There are times I get frustrated with my husband when I can’t find something. I sometimes find myself wondering why my husband puts things where he does. Of course, after I find what I need, I let go of the frustration immediately. I am grateful for my husband, and I remind myself that his unpredictable nature brings good times and spontaneity to our relationship. The frustration returns the next time I have the same obstacle, but I know I love him deeply. It’s a trivial moment when it happens.

I know I also provide some frustration in return. I’ve sometimes missed it when he’s decorated our porch for the holidays, until he brings it up. I’m nowhere near perfect even if I have a lot to offer him. When he feels the need to talk to me about something, I remember that he’s living with my shortcomings, too. I also feel that deep sense of gratitude that he is willing to talk and work things out with me. Life with him is about as good as it can possibly be, so it’s worth the few moments where we bump into each other.

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